“I didn’t sign up for this type of marriage!”

“Why can’t everyone just leave me alone?”

“I could never forgive my dad for what he did!”

“Why can’t these children just obey me? “

Perhaps these sound familiar to you. Embedded within each of these statements is a desire for an intimate relationship with a significant other – a spouse, a parent, or a child.

But it is a desire not just for any relationship, but one that is free from pain. Sin disrupted the harmony that God established and brought pain and heartache. As a result, the desire for intimacy remains, but sorrow is inevitable. At the same time, we are shocked to find that navigating our closest relationship is difficult.

In Tim Lane’s book Relationships: A Mess Worth Making, he writes:

“Some of our deepest and most painful hurts have been in relationships. There are times when we wish we could live alone and other time when we are glad we don’t… What happens in the messiness of relationships is that our hearts are revealed, our weaknesses are exposed, and we start coming to the end of ourselves… While we would like to avoid the mess and enjoy deep and intimate community, God says that it is in the very process of working through the mess that intimacy is found”.

Working at Karis House as a professional counselor, I spend a lot of time swimming in the water of relationships. Broken marriages, broken people, and broken family systems contribute to suffering, sin and struggle. After several years of working as a professional counselor, I’ve noticed that folks tend to deal with painful relationships with the four following responses:

1. Avoid the pain. People here are self-protective in relationships and may say that they are “playing it safe.” The idol is control.

2. Deny the pain. These individuals refuse to name the brokenness and sin, taking a posture of “I’m fine, you’re fine.” The idol is comfort.

3. Focus on the pain. These folks often catastrophize their relationships and adopt an attitude of “everything is terrible.” They are looking for approval.

4. Redeem the pain. These people enter into messy relationships with hope because of the Gospel. They believe, “I need God to bring healing”

Most likely, you have used each of these techniques to survive the chaos of your relationships. My question is this: What if I laid my weapons down and trusted God to heal this relationship? What if I engaged with this person in a humble, yet confident way? My encouragement is for you to trust God to redeem your difficult relationships. The same God that raised Jesus from the dead can bring your relationships back to life.

Karis House Community Counseling Center is celebrating its 1st birthday this week. It has been quite a first year! As I have reflected on our infancy, I’ve been floored by the ways that God has worked in us, on us and through us for his Kingdom. We have the great privilege of operating as a ministry of the Journey and are thankful for the ongoing support that we receive. Here are a few highlights from the year -

1. New Additions -  We’ve had the privilege of hiring several new counselors and administration staff, training 15 new lay counselors and developing 5 counseling interns from Covenant Seminary. The Karis family keeps getting bigger; we recently completed construction on  the 3rd floor, increasing our office space to accommodate the need.

2. Healing Communities – Our counselors have led groups for people struggling with depression, grief, eating disorders, relationships/intimacy, and sexual sin.  Our leaders have invested their time, prayers, and hearts into serving people in these issue-based healing groups.

3. Redemption Groups – We took three days to immerse 15 of our staff/volunteers at Karis through an intensive group experience called Redemption Groups. Over the summer, we ran two pilot groups as well to help develop our leaders and offered clients the opportunity to participate. We are proceeding slowly but surely as we prepare to launch Redemption Groups at the Journey in the near future.

4. Leadership Team – We’ve started a monthly leader meeting to launch initiatives and to develop and clarify policy and procedures in the areas of finances, intake coordination, counseling groups, lay counseling, and community expansion.

5. Fundraising and Scholarships – We have awarded close to $10,000 in scholarships this year. We have not turned one person away because of their lack of ability to pay for counseling services.  We have an excellent process that works with clients to complete a budget and contribute to their own counseling cost.

6. Clients – In the last year, over 250 people have filled out registrations asking for help at Karis House. The large majority of them have met with a counselor or participated in a group. Our clients include people from every  Journey campus, and about 25% of our clients are from outside of the Journey.

If you would like more info about Karis House and its services, please go to www.karishouse.org As a team, we will continue to strive towards fulfilling our mission in the coming year -

“Karis House exists to serve south St. Louis city by providing affordable, Gospel-centered counseling and restoration to clients in their relationships with God, with family and friends, and with self.”

The Luminary  (4900 Reber Place, St. Louis MO, 63139)

Cost: $12 in advance, $15 at the door

To buy tickets online, click here

For more info.email info@karishouse.org or call 314-802-8805 Ext. 111

Every once in a while, our imaginations are captured. Perhaps through a book, a sunset, a movie, a work of art, or a song, we are transported from our horizontal existence of schedules and routines and are given a transcendent peak into another world. Ecclesiastes 3:11 echoes this idea, stating that God “has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.”

In the words of C.S. Lewis, this brush with transcendence is a pointer to a greater reality - “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.”While my wife and I were in college in Chicago, we discovered a band from Wheaton called Sleeping at Last. They were opening for another band, and once we heard them we were hooked. I’ve purchased their albums and attended concerts over the years, and they  continued to capture my imagination, both musically and lyrically. Songs like “Naive” put beautiful words and music to feelings, such as disillusionment with religion and the damage it can do -

Religion is a breeding ground,

Where the Devil’s work is deeply found,

With teeth as sharp as cathedral spires,

Slowly sinking in.

God knows that I’ve been naive,

But I think it makes him proud of me.

Now it’s so hard to separate,

My disappointments from his name.

Because shadows stretch behind the truth,

Where stained glass offers broken clues

And fear ties knots and pulls them tight.

It leaves us paralyzed.

But in the end such tired words will rest.

The truth will reroute the narrow things they’ve said.

The marionette strings will lower and untie.

And out of the ashes, love will be realized.

God knows that we’ve been naive,

And a bit nearsighted to say the least.

It’s broken glass at children’s feet,

That gets swept aside unexpectedly.

Sleeping at Last (www.sleepingatlast.com, www.myspace.com/sleepingatlast) has agreed to play a benefit concert for Karis House next month. Proceeds from the show will go towards continuing to offer affordable counseling to clients in south St. Louis city. Here are the details -

Wednesday, April 14th, doors @ 7:30p, concert @ 8:00p

The Luminary (4900 Reber Place, St. Louis MO, 63139)

Cost: $12 in advance, $15 at the door

To buy tickets online, click here

(general donations will also be accepted)

For more info.email info@karishouse.org or call 314-802-8805 Ext. 111

Please come out and support Karis House. Come out and experience some beautiful music and that will help you to transcend the ordinary. We’ll see you in a few weeks at the show.

What will the year of 2010 hold for you? The fact is – despite our best laid plans and resolutions – many events will transpire this year, both gain and loss. On a positive note, maybe you will…

- find a spouse
- receive a promotion or a new job
- experience victory over a sinful addiction
- gain control of your eating habits

On a negative note, maybe you will…

- suffer loneliness and loss of a relationship
- lose your job
- continue to struggle with a sinful addiction
- be controlled by your eating habits

As you consider the events this coming year, I propose that you need community. God himself exists within the community of the Trinity; the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. We were made to know and to be known. At the same time, we have secret sins and struggles. We avoid opening up with others for fear of being found out or, worse yet, rejected. As you consider seeking out community, perhaps you feel that a community group would not be able to handle the struggles that you bring. Or maybe the idea of a co-ed group makes you cringe as you consider your struggle with your sexual identity or body image. Then a Healing Community is the place for you.

A Healing Community is a safe, confidential group where it is acceptable to be broken, have problems, admit failure, and where help is expressed in concrete, practical ways. The mission of these groups is to help hurting people heal through Gospel-centered community. These groups provide a safe environment to deal with addictions or issues that are preventing people from the experience of healthy living in their relationships with God and people. The groups are led by counselors that have professional training/experience and/or have personal experience through their own recovery in the topic that they are leading.

The cost of each group is $125 for 14 weeks, with all books and materials included in the cost. All groups will be held at Karis House on the Tower Grove campus (2811 S. Kingshighway Blvd.). Here are the groups being offered this semester (starting at the end of January):

Wednesday Nights – 7:00 – 9:00pm
1. Known – a group for single women to work through issues related to relationships and intimacy

Thursday Nights – 7:00 – 9:00pm
1. Redeem – a group for men struggling with sexual brokenness (lust, pornography, and same-sex attraction) that want to experience redemption in their sexuality

2. Found – a co-ed group for people experiencing grief due to the loss of a loved one or a close relationship

3. H.E.A.L. (Healthy Eating, Abundant Living) – a diet-free, Christ-centered community approach to healing and well-being for women struggling with food and body image issues

Weekend Retreat
1. Known – a women’s retreat for single women to work through issues related to relationships and intimacy

Please sign up here – Healing Community Registration

Feel free to email Amy Mattia at amattia@karishouse.org or Joel Greiner at jgreiner@karishouse.org for more information.

Joanna Williams

I come from NC, where I grew up learning to say “ya’ll” and “all ya’ll.” Back in NC I worked with youth and their families for over 8 years. I moved to St Louis 2 years ago to attend Covenant Seminary. I started working at Karis House before it existed! Last year, I completed my practicum at the Journey for my counseling degree at Covenant. I have been seeing clients for over a year now. I am graduating December 09. Currently, I meet with clients on an individual basis as well as lead Healing Community Groups.

Amy Mattia

I began serving at Karis House as a lay counselor.  I was so excited by the vision for Karis House, that I felt God calling me back to finish my MAC.  Now I’m in my final year of school and serving as a practicum student for Karis House, and I also get to coordinate intake as people sign up for counseling.  To watch what God has done even just since this summer is amazing, in the lives of my own clients as well as all the other clients and counselors as well.  I love that Karis is a place with many levels of care and that people who might not otherwise are able to receive counseling.

Liz Recoulley

I was raised in North Carolina and went to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill for my undergraduate education in Psychology. It was at school that I met my husband, Mark. In 2006 we became members of the Journey and got married. We moved back to North Carolina but quickly realized that we missed St. Louis. We have now been back in St. Louis for a year and a half. I am currently pursuing an MAin Counseling at Covenant Theological Seminary. This year is my practicum year and I started seeing clients at Karis House in the Fall of 2009. I have really enjoyed being part of the process of seeing Karis House get started. The amazing response has shown me how God is using us to help members of The Journey and beyond. It has been a priviledge to be in a position to see God’s healing hand in the lives of my clients. I am excited to see God work and mold me through this enriching line of work.

Karis House is hosting its first fundraiser at The Journey! Parents’ Night Out is our way to care for families while raising money so that we can expand our capacity to serve others through Karis House. We are raising $20,000 to build a fire escape to our third floor. We have only been open for three short months and have had over 80 new clients. Once we install the fire escape, we can utilize the third floor of Karis House which will allow us us to fill an additional two offices with individual and group counseling.

Parents we hope you take advantage of our fundraiser and have a date with your spouse, prepare for the Christmas holiday or Christmas shop. While you are away enjoying yourselves we will provide Christmas activities and constructive play for your children. On Friday, December 4 we will be watching kids from 6 PM – 10 PM and Saturday, December 5 from 9 AM – 2 PM. You may drop them off for the whole time or just a few hours on either day. For only $10 per hour per family you will be supporting Karis House ministry, utilizing child care and spending time getting those last minute Christmas preparations completed. If you are further inclined to help make the fire escape a reality for us we would graciously accept a donation on top of the service fee. We look forward to seeing you on December 4 and December 5!

Evangeline Bauer

As of September 1, 2009 I started at Karis House.  I hail all the way from Chicago where I worked with HIV/AIDS clients in a medical setting.  Prior to that I worked in South Africa at a children’s home providing individual and group therapy to the 48 children that called it home.  I have a specialization in child and family counseling using anything from play to art therapy as well as the more traditional therapies.  I also work with writing and seeking out grants for Karis House.  This allows us to be able to provide services to our clients for a reduced fee.

I am launching into my 9^th week here and have already seen God transforming my clients.  It excites me to see how God will grow and stretch me in this field. As well as use me as a member of the body to come alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ.  Living in St. Louis is great too as it is much warmer and not so windy like Chicago!

Eric Gregory

My wife Jamie and I love South City and have lived here since we were married 5 years ago.  We have a one year old daughter named Lily, another one on the way, and a slightly neurotic dog named Riley.  I graduated last May from Covenant Seminary with dual Masters degrees, Divinity and Counseling.  Since then I have been working full time with mentally-ill homeless people in downtown St Louis.  My areas of interest are depression, relational problems, sexual brokenness and addiction, and trauma recovery.

Being a staff counselor at Karis House has been a joy because it’s filled with counselors and lay counselors who offer compassion out of a sense of their own need for Christ’s Gospel.  After being here a month, God is already stretching me in ways I did not expect.

No, I’m not referring to the CBS show with the same name. I’m referring to exciting developments – in the form of numbers - that are taking place at Karis House Community Counseling Center on the Tower Grove campus.

 3 – The number of months Karis House has been in existence. We opened up the doors officially on July 31st  of  this past summer.

 71 – The number of intake registrations we’ve received since opening. That’s an average of 2 registrations per day!

 6 – The number of counselors on staff at Karis House. The includes staff counselors, interns, and practicum  students from Covenant Seminary. Take a look at our website to see who we are -  http://www.karishouse.org/staff/

 13 -  The number of lay counselors that serve at Karis House. This ministry serves our church and community by providing short-term, spiritually-focused counseling at no cost. Our lay counselors undergo 20+  hours of training and receive ongoing professional supervision. http://www.karishouse.org/lay-counseling/

 38,000 – The average of the gross median incomes of several zip codes surrounding Karis House (63139, 63110, and 63116). The gross median income in 2008 for Missouri was $46,867. To remain a viable option for healing in the community, we keep our counseling fees at an affordable rate to provide access to those in need.

 3  - The number of offices that can currently be used at Karis house. That’s right – 20 people share three offices! We’re are creative about scheduling the office space, but the fact remains, we coulddesperately use a few more offices. We have a third floor, but it cannot be used due to a lack of an adequate fire exit (fire escape).

 20,000 – The cost to  build and install fire escape on the back of the house. This would add an additional 2 offices to be utilized for individual, marriage, family and group counseling meetings.  

As the year draws to a close, many people have extra funds available to give. Would you consider playing a part in giving a tax-deductible gift to the Karis House? This would give us a greater ability to provide quality, Christian counseling at an affordable price for our church and immediate community. If you are interested, please email Joel Greiner at jgreiner@karishouse.org for more information.

Vision Statement – Karis House exists to serve south St. Louis city by providing affordable, Gospel-centered counseling and restoration to clients in their relationships with God, with family and friends, and with self.

 We created this video for the opening weekend of Karis House. The interviews include Joel Greiner (Director of Karis House), Gary and Brooke Wolfe (Marriage Mentors), Amy Mattia (Counseling Practicum Student, Intake Coordinator) and Joanna Williams (Counseling Intern). Enjoy!!!

Karis House Interviews from Joel Greiner on Vimeo.